A review of two books: two contrasting versions of sexual humiliation.
Miner’s Wife, Police Whore: A True Story of Sexual Hell by Ruthie Tudor, and Mature Student: Sex Addict, My Time at the University of York, by Joanne Anon.
I chose these two books because like Ruthie Tudor, my parents came from mining areas and experienced the miners strike of 1984/5 directly. And also, like Joanne Anon I attended the University of York. But those are not the only reasons. Both books deal directly with sexual humiliation. ‘Miner’s Wife…’ deals with sexual blackmail and humiliation. ‘Mature Student: Sex addict’, deals with one woman’s descent into sexual compulsion and the degradation she experienced at the hands (and more) of strangers.
Both are powerful testimonies
Ruthie Tudor’s book is short but very powerful. Yes, it is graphic, but the events which she describes are disturbing. She tells of the poverty not just experienced by the miners during the strike of 1984/5, but contends that it was actually inflicted on the whole community by the politicians. Police were bussed in from faraway, and were seen to ‘occupy’ her village much as an invading army would.
Money was short. But at least Ruthie had a part time bar job. But the police were the only customers, and so what they wanted, the landlord had to give them. That or close the place. And what they wanted was ’entertainment’. Entertainment in the form of topless barmaids and the like. For Ruthie it was a case of do it or face her only employment coming to an end. She tells of the emotional cost of having to comply. And the abuse inflicted when the police realised she had no choice to to take it.
But her time as a topless barmaid wasn’t the end of her ordeal. Ruthie was then approached by a senior policeman who threatened to ‘out’ her ‘collaboration’ to the local community and to her unknowing husband. It was an unthinkable choice, and so the miner’s wife because the police whore. She was forced to endure forced sex well over a hundred times with a variety of police officers. It is a remarkable claim but the passion and the raw power of her account is all too believable. It is a book I have thought about a lot since reading it.
By contrast, in ‘Mature Student: Sex Addict’, the author – ‘Joanne’ – was coerced by her own needs and desires. At the start she is a happily married woman in her very early forties, with two children on the cusp of independence. She describes herself as ‘Mrs Boring-Bland’ of Scarborough, North Yorkshire.
But things change.
Quite by chance, she enquires about ‘university’, the thing she missed out on by her early marriage. It is a random act, but looking deeper, maybe not so random. She researches, she applies and she gets in. then things hot up. REALLY got up!
When she enters university she is keen, serious, anxious to ‘do well.’
But all too quickly she realises that here is an opportunity to completely reinvent herself. All too easily she sheds the her skin and re-emerges as a woman needy for contact. Physical contact. Sexual contact. And the ‘who’ seems to matter less and less.
She has sex with a fellow student, then another, then another. By the end she is a borderline prostitute being exploited not only by those who go with her, but they also ‘recommend’ her to others. Joanne is given places and times to turn up. And she has no idea who or what might be waiting.
The major difference between the two books is that Ruthie has humiliation forced upon her. No way does she collude or even properly consent to what happens to her. But Joanne actively participates. She re-makes herself and chases sex, seemingly for its own sake.
Both are good reads, and if sexual humiliation is your thing, they represent good value for money. I just wonder where these women are now?
Feel free to get in touch girls.
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